[Book Plot Summary]
The second half of the story changes to Sandy’s perspective and we learn about what happened that day when he came back to the apartment with a bloody hand.
As we guessed, he found the people who he THOUGHT attacked Mei and it is HEAVILY and artfully implied that he beat SOMEone up.
Then, we get a flashbacks of Sandy’s life, but it's somewhat out of order
So first, we get Sandy talking to Bernadette after he recently found out she was dying. Sandy is like “okay, but I heard diseases are genetic from a public radio show sooooooo can I get a little background on my history?”
And Bernedette’s like “well, your biological father --- is a gay man who moved to Vancouver. It was a sperm donor situation (she explains it like a science experiment) and your grandparents were fleeing the country---so excuse them for not taking their medical history with them.” “Also, Diane is still your mother and she loves you even though you two are estranged and you can’t stand her.”
And Sandy was like, “we could’ve done that without shade, but whatever sis lol”
The next flash back is Diane showing up to take some stuff from Sandy’s house. Sandy is furious and we learn that Diane was very in and out of their lives and specifically was very out when Bernadette was dying
Diane says how much she admires him, saying of all the things that he could have learned from her leaving, he learned to treasure his loved ones.
Sandy is truly like “what the actual fuck? Nothing about me has anything to do with you because you were--absent.” “Also, give back the key to the house and you can keep the telephone message recordings of Bernadette asking to come visit you and you not showing up.”--yikes
So then, there’s a further flashback and we learn that the first time Sandy met Diane was after he started working for a landscape construction company installing an irrigation pond. He’s like 16 at this point and it seems like he’s basically had to work from a young age to support his family. So he’s drinking coffee one morning and Diane walks out of the bedroom and is like, “uh...hey” and he’s literally like, “I do not know her.”
Diane explains that she’s his mother and they’re a family. Sandy is skeptical, but Bernadette seems happy so he tries to acclimate. Then Diane leaves because reasons and starts a pattern of coming back and leaving and Sandy is about 1000% done, so whenever Diane shows up he stops speaking to both her and Bernadette
Also, there’s this subplot where the flowers in the fountain irrigation system he is helping construct at his job keep getting eaten by geese, and the engineer who planned the whole thing complains and basically Sandy gets fired and starts working on a railroad, where his coworkers are racist so he---breaks one of their noses and gets…fired
Then the perspective changes to Bernadette and we learn that initially Diane and Bernadette had planned to raise their son together in the forest -- it wasn’t quite hipster yet because it was the 90s, but you know
But Bernadette struggled with her mother and sister’s lack of approval of their relationship and not wanting to out herself to them.
So Diane dips and Bernadette has to raise Sandy alone
Bernadette tells this story about how when Sandy was young, maybe 6 years old, there was a thunderstorm outside one night and she was trying to knit a quilt, but he was really sick and she didn’t want to tell her mother, Nai Nai, because Nai Nai had recently been hella judgmental and she didn’t want her to think she was a bad parent
Then, there was a crash upstairs and a literal goose had flown through the window, which was wild. But then Sandy hugs the goose, which wouldn’t have been my first instinct, but that’s okay
But also Nai Nai was there, which Bernadette didn’t notice at first because of the whole goose thing
And then Nai Nai’s like, “why didn’t you tell me the boy was sick? I could have cured him, and he wouldn’t have to carry around such a big debt.”
And everyone is like, “...Nai Nai what?” But she has no further answers or fucks to give
And Sandy’s like, “wow, wish you would have told me that earlier” and Bernadette’s like, “how could I have told you this story in a way that made sense?” Which fair
And then we hear the story of their relationship from Diane’s perspective, which is good because otherwise she’s starting to seem like a really bad parent. But she explains that Nai Nai was abusive and Bernadette just wouldn’t leave and it was causing arguments and she didn’t know how to solve the problem. Eventually, she’s like, “let's just move in together” and, at first, Bernadette says yes, but then when Diane later shows up Nai Nai’s there and says that Bernadette’s not there and that she would rather work than leave with Diane, so Diane leaves
Diane tries to come back after Nai Nai dies, but she realizes too much has changed and plus Diane’s still hiding her queerness from her moderately judgmental sister who now has a kid (Mei)
So then you learn later that Diane is actually really depressed and sad and mostly just hangs out with Nelson (a side character) at this bar. Also, Mei has Nelson’s suitcase after he died because it's the suitcase she got from the thrift shop earlier in the book
Then we learn that Sandy died trying to scare off a goose during a thunderstorm?
Then we switch back to Mei’s current perspective. She’s doing alright, seems to be acclimating when she gets a call from Diane, who stumbles through an apology about her earlier terrible behavior and eventually asks to meet up
And Mei’s like siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh “Fiiiiiiiiine.”
So they meet up and Diane talks about a documentary she watched about another trans woman and all of us immediately yawned with this single narrative nonsense.
Anyways, Diane like tried, so for that I guess I can break off a crumb of this cookie to give to her
Then we get a flashback of Mei first meeting Connie and Annette
We also learn here that Mei is mixed because Connie is being somewhat problematic here, but they eventually become friends.
Annette and Mei also become friends and then there’s this scene where Mei goes on this rant basically being like, “I am critical of the trans flag because it leaves us out and centers whiteness. At least the rainbow pride flag stands for sex and freedom.” And Annette is like, “look, flags are meant for setting territory and colonizing. That’s the point of flags, to tell us where the power lies. So, is this even a symbol we should be subscribing to? Anyway, let’s just go home and do people stuff.”
So later Mei reveals that she’s been talking to Nai Nai beyond the veil although it's kind of brushed over
But Mei also talks to Sandy who doesn’t have any really good answers about being dead or what it all means
Then we find out that Connie died of a heart attack?!?!? And Mei is like, “wait what?!” And apparently no one found her for a month and Mei feels terrible because she wasn’t there to help her friend because she was up here mourning. And truly my only thought at this point was like, “this book has a higher kill count than a horror film. We got Nai Nai, Bernadette. Sandy, Nelson, and now Connie. Like WHO is alive?!”
Anyway, Mei flashes back to something Connie once said to her, which was basically that Mei holds onto too much anger and that the world isn’t going to stop being terrible just because she’s angry. She went on to say that, by nursing her anger like a child, Mei is only hurting her own heart. And then, I was like, “I feel seen and also read and also ouch”
Then, Mei has another ghost encounter with Sandy who tells her she needs to forgive herself and also that rage should be used more sparingly--it's a lightning strike, not a fire
And then Mei talks to (dead) Connie and Mei’s like, “wait, this doesn’t really fit into the family-centered ghost narrative that has been the trope of the book so far” and Connie’s like, “girl, you’re talking to a ghost and THAT’S your concern? Priorities. Also, blood doesn’t make family” Which TRUUUUUU
And Mei’s like, “I guess I’ll roll with it” and Connie’s like, “look, you need to square with all this and live your life. Your rage is important, but sometimes the rage can distort people who are trying to reach you.” Which, I mean, she’s probably right
There’s some stuff about a boat and Mei trying to camp, but it doesn’t really matter. Just know that Ghost Sandy rolls up and is like, “Mei, just go home”
Mei finally calls Annette and is like “hey, I’m coming back to the city, can I kick it with you?” and Annette is like, “girl, duh” and and the book concludes there
[Book Thoughts and Feelings]
Beautifully written--there are great metaphors. Also, the pacing changed a little in the second half, it was faster and the tone seemed different
Diane?!?!? Complex to be sure
Thoughts on this whole rage bit--I have mixed feelings--but, at the same time, I get what everyone is saying